“May I have a glass of water, no ice?”
Gone are the days when I could chew ice. I’d tap the bottom of my paper cup and sling my head back as far as I could, to chew up Dr. Pepper’s icy remnants. Yet, if I tried doing that now, the doctor would be a chiropractor for my neck, and a dentist for the root canal pin ball machine exploding inside of my mouth.
As a kid, my crew and I always headed to DQ after school. We’d bite the top of our chocolate vanilla swirly cone, and guzzle back our mr misty lemon lime slushies with no problem what so ever. We’d divulge in sugary or salty treats, and have a great time no matter what the activity. Piles of leaves on the side of the road, often became hours of non stop play. From elementary through high school, we had the same troupe. A staple crew, like so many of us were fortunate to have. Yet as we all got a bit older, and we all loved the same things, an inevitable difference grew. One of our friends moved further and further away and never came back.
We miss you metabolism.
From age 0-40 metabolism and I were on the fast track to indulgence, and extravagance. Taking on hurdles, never slowing down, divulging in anything we wanted, on a roadmap to anything goes.
M- Meat
E- Everything
T-Tacos
A-Anything
B- Burgers
O-Oreos
L- Loafs
I- Ice Cream
S- Smores
M- Mac & Cheese
It’s weird how when we are younger, there are so many things we can do or experience on a whole different level. We can be more or less fearful, more or less adventurous, more or less energized, and a simple task can become something entirely different.
“Luna, let’s head to the park, then it’s a work day for me, so let’s get ready and go!”
Even though a dog can’t talk, they understand.
When I tried to put on my sweatshirt to zip up, Luna heard me wince in pain.
“OWWWW!!!” “Oh my god, my god, ooooowwwwwieeeee… what the F???”
I grabbed my shoulder and immediately started to massage it with my right arm, while my left sweatshirt arm dangled behind my back. Luna’s cocked head and look of concern was evident she understood. I was in pain. But what we both didn’t understand was, what the heck was causing this? All I was doing was putting on a sweatshirt!
In that moment I heard and envisioned all my older friends, peers, teachers, parents, parents friends, say at one time while waving at me:
“Welcome to the ice age, darling”.
“The age of putting ice on anything that hurts, and never knowing how you hurt yourself.”
“This is 50.”
Gone were the days of shrugging pain off from hours of jumping into a pile of leaves. Going on four months, this shoulder pain deserved some kind of diagnosis. So, after 3 days of calling my insurance to see what doctor carried my plan, the doctor examined me, and said four words echoing those on Ice Age island:
“You have frozen shoulder.”
What? So I have something frozen causing me pain, when all I can remember are the frozen things which gave me joy? And how exactly is this “frozen”? Feels like a porcupine break dancing on top of a pogo stick, inside my rotator cuff!
The take away? As we age, there’s a whole new way of experiencing things. It’s about learning how to unthaw the frozen, by feeling it all, and tapping into ways to find the funny.
Here are my 5 tips for Ice Age Injuries:
Embrace the brace. Just like having braces again, only now it’s on your wrist, knee or ankle.
Be mindful of your body, you never know when there may be a wrong move.
Get more sleeveless sweatshirts.
Frozen peas last longer than ice packs.
You may still be the youngest in line to buy Volterin arthritis gel.