“Plastic Surgeon started following me. So I turned around and yelled SLOW DOWN, and CUT IT OUT!” - Susanna Spies
“With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.”― William Shakespeare
“Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle”- Bob Hope
20 Signs of Aging:
Passing out before midnight. On new years eve. Sober.
Wearing elastic waist maternity pants, and you’re not a mom.
Hairs growing randomly; neck, collar bone, cheek. As thick as piano wires.
Waking up without an alarm , from something to worry about.
Hearing a song you like, and snapping to the beat.
Placing the word “the” in front of anything technical: “The email, the instagram, the pinterest”
Going shopping in your sweats from1981, flip-flops, and Linda Ronstadt t-shirt, and not giving a damn.
Knowing that The Blue Lagoon is also a movie, and Tattoo is also a person.
Not being sore from working out... b/c you’re not working out.
Trying to read the freeway sign, as you drive underneath it.
Conversations about Netflix, Costco, or Gluten free cheese dips at Trader joe’s.
Waiving goodbye to a friend, and your arm still wobbles 30 minutes later.
From bikini’s, stiletto’s and club med auditions, to spanx, lime freezer, and all you can eat at Coco’s.
Receiving flyers about nail fungus, AARP, and burial plots addressed to you directly.
Looking at where you park after shopping, repeating the garage level 50 times in your head, and forgetting once you get to the elevator.
Placing the garage ticket in your purse, loosing the ticket, and blaming your purse.
Using the word purse.
Getting tech help from a 23yr old at the genius bar, and feeling like a retired vet in the idiot lounge.
Using the words dear, trousers, and hosting game night.
Forgetting this last reason.