Eyebrow Promises & So Be It’s.
My father always said his brains were in his eyebrows. Long, full, alert markers distinguishing his wise, strong, gentle face. It’s funny how significantly eyebrows can alter one’s look , while at the same time express emotions so clearly. An old boyfriend of mine used to always know when I was pondering something. He’d take his index finger and rub the the bridge of my nose and say:“Penny?” For penny for your thoughts. “Your 11’s are showing.” And although my 11’s were really just a sugar coating to deep wrinkles, they make me proud. In my family eyebrows symbolize features of pride, and a promise with my father.
I’ve always known, that a little pluck to my brow could turn a frown upside down, as long as you accent the arch. A way to ease and lift on a budget. While living in LA, there are so many methods to wax on, wax off, pluck, tweeze or trim, but during this pandemic? Let’s face it there is not a whole lot of grooming happening. People are in their natural state, while the world is in a chaotic state. And as I look over and stare at my beloved dog Luna, (who is resembling more of a lamb meets Ewok these days), I smile thinking of that promise I made with my father. Never, ever let a groomer trim her ear hairs, out of mutual respect to his long, robust brain brows. These days that promise resonates more deeply.
My father passed away three weeks ago, April 2. Not from Covid-19, and am grateful he lived a long life to the ripe age of 95, and passed peacefully at his home after continual hospital visits and years of dialysis. Saying goodbye to your parent unconscious over a phone is surreal, disorienting, and heart aching. No matter the age of our parents, or ourselves, when one loses a parent it’s like an electrical socket pulled from the wall splitting in aimless directions.
Each day I have been trying to sort through a box in the garage. My siblings are sending belongings of my mom who passed two years ago, and now my dad who passed 3 weeks ago. I save everything, so letting go of receipts from 2002, and finally admitting to myself that I’ll never wear that old soiled coat, or inspiration mini skirt from 1999 three sizes too small, feels a release to finally get rid of. To try and keep making the Goodwill pile. If it feels good, keep going. If not - then stop.
So, while we are all on isolation island and feeling waves of anxiety, here are some go to’s for rafting along the way.
The Five So Be It’s.
If I’m feeling overwhelmed or frozen and wanna just numb out in front of Netflix, or at the computer scrolling, with wine, more wine, and a side of wine -if that helps? So be it.
If cleaning the dishes makes me feel productive, and keeps your mind busy for a few moments, while also keeping your hands clean? So be it.
If going to the grocery store, and writing a list to cross off items feels like you’ve accomplished something? So be it.
If you cry to the depths of your toes during Bridges of Madison County, thinking everything reminds you of your parents? So be it.
If you try to step it up, and wash the grays with a boxed color dye, but ends up with roots that like like rainbow sorbet? So be it.
Papa, Luna’s ear hair is longer than ever. She is starting to look a bit more like a rabbit than a dog, which as we know is fine either way as we hop from one day to the next, letting time do it’s job, with moments that feel eternal.
So be it.
Miss you to the end of time.